This Christmas I really don't want any presents. I love the tradition of giving and receiving meaningful, thought-through gifts to/from the people I love, - don't we all. But as we all know, this tradition is becoming more and more corrupted by the faulty impression that gifts, not only should be bought, but should be done so at a fairly high price, and/or that we should give presents simply because it's Christmas, everybody! Ho ho ho!
Most of us really want to show our love for friends and family buy giving them things we know they want, need or like. I love giving presents to my loved ones. I love finding something when not looking for anything, and thinking "Wow! This is perfect for X! (S)he's gonna love it!".
And then it gets complicated... If it's a good friend and the whatever-it-is isn't too expensive, it's a no-brainer, I get it for him/her. If it's too expensive and not really a very close friend, - oh, well, maybe I can just tell him/her about it and they can buy it for themselves if they like it. BUT! If it's a really close friend, but the thingy costs a bit more than I am comfortable with paying, - what do to? If I do buy it I'll probably not dwell too much on the money issue, but my friend might feel bad for giving me something cheap(er) (no matter how perfect) in return. On the other side, I might feel bad if I decide the price is too high, - do I not appreciate my friend enough to get this awesome-amazing gift that I know (s)he will love? And then for the other scenario: a cheap thing, perfect for a friend who is not really a close one (let's call her Maria Jesús - in the spirit of Christmas). Then I would like to get it for Maria Jesús, obviously. I'm sure she will really appreciate it and for me it's no problem getting it. But if I get this for her, then I should definitly get something for all my friends who are much closer than Maria Jesús.
Am I being neurotic?
When it comes to receiving presents, I'm a natural. I'm the kind of person who always reads the card first before neatly opening the present, building up the expectations little by little, folding and putting the wrapping paper gently aside before continuing to dig my present out from bubblewrap, paper, boxes etc. When it turns out to be an album from an artist I don't really like, or a piece of clothing I might have worn when I was 12 years old (if my mother made me), I give a wide, genuine smile and exclaim something like "How nice! I've heard about this artist!" or "What a cute sweater! It goes great with my pyjama pants!". And it is really genuine. I love ALL my presents. I tear off the "no return if broken" seal to show the giver how truly grateful I am. And I am. For about 2 minutes. When I realize that both I and probably the person giving it to me would have preferred that I returned it for something more fitting. We all love presents. We do not always love the things they consist of.
I am sure many of you feel the exact same way. I can't stand returning Christmas presents, - it makes me feel like I didn't at all appreciate my friend's/family member's gesture of giving me a gift. When indeed it is the gesture which is the most important, - or should be. We love getting presents because it makes us feel loved, appreciated and special. We love giving presents because we love our family and friends and want to show them our gratitude for having them in our lives, and we want to show them that we care by giving them something special. Giving Christmas presents is about us! It's about people! Not things.
I guess, that is the point I'm somehow trying to make. I don't want to expect getting presents this year. I really can't think of anything I could possibly want or need, other than being with my friends and family after not seeing them for 4 months, getting a little bit of snow, finding the almond in the rice porridge, and lots and lots of Christmas cookies. If someone wants to give me a gift for Christmas, I will of course gratefully accept it! But, please, do not give me something simply because you feel you should, or because you think I will be disappointed if I get nothing. If you really can't think of something good, no matter how well you know me, it's probably because I already have all I can wish for! My health, my family and friends, the opportunity to go crazy and move to Spain for a year!
So are you one of my friends living in Stavanger (at least for the holidays)? The best present would be your promise that we'll catch up when we're both home. That's what you are all getting from me.
Are you a friend living far away, that I don't see very often? Give me a call! Tell me all about what's going on in your life! I'll do the same!
Are you my family? Just get along and be happy together with no talk of whatever disagreements you may have, at least for now. And let me find the almond on Christmas Eve!
~~~
PS: I took a chance that I'm not doing anything illegal by posting that picture on here. I'm not using it to sell anything, it says where I found it, and they are "currently working on" their copyright information... Am I in the clear?
Well spoken! Klem moro
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