Temptation/obsession

There are terrible temptations which it requires strength and courage to yield to.
- Oscar Wilde

Temptation recently made someone the happy, new owner of my wallet, cell phone and keys, but being an easy target for temptation myself, I can't really blame them.

Temptation have given me: a badly done tattoo in Vietnam, a motorcycle pipe burn, a student's life in Spain, bad exam results, good memories, fun stories, painful sunburns, adrenaline kicks, festival tickets, empty bank accounts, a single dread lock, some extra weight, new favorites, old flames, worried parents, laughing friends, beautiful views, a glacier course, a trip on the Trans-Siberian, starry skies, terrible hangovers, long nights, early mornings, heavy backpacks, more tea than I can finish in a year, a hookah, the possibility to enjoy a rainy day on a roofed balcony an April Sunday, and, by the looks of it, too much work too close to deadline.

 

 

I must be awfully strong and couragous. 

But am I strong enough to yield to my biggest temptation, bording on obsession? Do I have the courage to do what I have wanted to do for so long? Can you leave the comforting, entertaining and tormentingly tempting thought that is there the moment you wake up and follows you through all conversations, adorns all situations, decides your choice of music, helps you make dinner, and makes you smile when you normally wouldn't?

I'll be more specific: I've eaten close to 10 avocados and made taco twice in the last week. I enjoyed sitting alone by a bar late at night, just watching people, and giggled after realizing someone had stolen my purse from right next to where I was standing, - preparation! I've interrogated strangers about their travels. I've already called my boss from last spring to see if he has any work for me in the fall. And I have spent hours reading travelling tips for women going solo to Latin America, asking myself at every other sentence if I would have the street-smarts, common sense, social skills, immune system, confidence, strength and courage to deal with border bureaocracy and 20 hour long bus rides; to count only on myself in balancing safety and budget; telling the difference between 'go-ahead-and-have-fun' situations and 'get-the-hell-out-of-there' situations.

I guess there is only one way to find out. I just have to save up some money, and stick to my promise that I'd visit my friends in Brazil and the fact that if I don't go, I'll regret it.